TO LIVE OR NOT TO LIVE!

That is the question? How a viral fever changed my thoughts

When I returned from USA, I kind of felt different this time. Five locations, travelling in and out every second night, with baggages, into airports and out. This was kind of taking a toll, but I was with family and friends, so there was no pressure and I felt I can somewhat stretch myself. On my return again I quickly decided to go to Bangalore for a day, for a reason, which to many would defy logic, but I still did. On my return, I had this major presentation to be made to my new MBA students starting their session in Globsyn. The talk lasted 2 hours.

On my way back, I could feel a chill, a fever that was invading my body. The sickness, tiredness and such symptoms that overshadows your energy level. On return, I slept, but by the time I reached home, my fever had sky-rocketed. I was literally shivering and suddenly feeling out of control. That was 28th July 2015.

Today, nine days later, several medicines, doctors later, I write this blog, still very very weak. No fever, but the aftermath of what is called a viral, still looming large on me. On the second night, my wife felt, I would have to be shifted to the hospital, as I was not in my senses, shivering hugely, and not in control. But somehow, I withstood that. My doctor was cool and instructed my wife what to do. Same day in the morning, I remember, I was not being able to get up on my own. I thought it was a ‘joke’ and started smiling. My wife also did not believe. But the truth was I was not able to get up. I tried and tried and tried. Finally, my wife put in a lot of effort to pull me up. WoW!

I never ever felt like that before. The viral had sapped all my energies. Despite its cruel head popping up to squeeze my body, this episode of viral fever was a big ‘Healing Experience’ for me, where I travelled within. I realised so many things at one go. Yes, Yes and Yes. I will listen to my inner soul from now on. I will try and match my mind and body to some degree, so that there is a balance between these two. Only then, I can lead a decent life.
I know,it might sound ‘boring’ to me — to someone, who has always been driven by passion, high energy, drive of the mind, without caring for the body so much, this must be a kind of let down.

But it’s a choice, I have to make.

To live or not to live………………………….